Week 7 Story: Art Girl Rescue Part 3
"Save me, Alex!" (source)
After dispatching the patrols sent on his tail, Alex made his way back towards the outskirts of the village, to the compound of Samu Al-Hayeed. Moving under the cover of darkness, Alex dispatched guards and patrols using nothing but his combat knife.
Finally, Alex reached the perimeter of Samu's compound. The sandy flats surrounding the high wall of the compound were illuminated by blinding floodlights. Machine-gun emplacements flanked the front gate, and the wall was topped by barbed wire. But Alex knew that defenses are only as strong as their weakest link. He circled the compound, staying just out of the range of the floodlights, until he came to the utility pole that supplied the compound with all of its electricity. Alex reached into his rucksack and produced a satchel charge with a timer, the last of his explosives. He climbed to the top of the utility pole and set the charge, he then made his way back outside the entrance of the compound and waited.
Several minutes later, the charge detonated, plunging the compound into complete darkness. Alex switched on his night-vision goggles and charged the entrance headfirst. The guards, their eyes not having ample time to adjust to the darkness, were practically blind. Alex dispatched them quickly with his pistol. He pulled one of the heavy MG's off of its stand and kept close to the wall of the compound as he moved inward. Samu's forces began to organize and move towards the entrance to check on the cause of the disturbance. Once the troops had assembled at the entrance, Alex fired his stolen MG into the crowd from the shadows. He had successfully reduced Samu's guards to a skeleton crew. Now, the last challenge would be battling Samu himself.
Alex tossed the MG aside and stood up, he made his way quickly but cautiously towards Samu's compound. Just as he reached the door, the lights within the compound came back on
"Must be a backup generator" Alex thought to himself.
Alex took of his night vision goggles and prepared to breach the door to the Master's quarters. He kicked it in and found only women and children. Samu's wives and offspring. Samu's eldest wife, Zarnubius, approached Alex and began to speak:
"Samu has ordered his remaining bodyguards to stand down. He says he wants to fight you one-on-one for Art Girl's love"
Alex dropped his weapon and responded:
"So be it."
Alex climbed the stairs to the top floor, where Samu was sitting at a bar filled with luxurious imported liquors. Art Girl was behind the bar, serving drinks. Her face was splashed with joy, then worry, when she spotted Alex. She was concerned more for his safety than her own. Samu turned around on his barstool to face Alex.
"She's a good woman, Alex. She has so far rejected all my advances. My last resort is force, she is a delicate flower and I would hate to damage her in any way, but in the end that may be my only choice." Samu said
"Enough. I wont hear any more from you. I've come here to fight you one-on-one, anything else is gonna cost you extra." Alex replied
"Very well, let us begin our unarmed combat. You may set the conditions of victory, Alex"
"To the death"
Samu stood up from the bar and took his shirt off,
"Sounds good to me"
Samu charged towards Alex, using his superior size and strength, he would grapple Alex into submission easily, and choke him to death in front of his own wife. Alex knew this, luckily he had specialized training in fighting larger opponents. As Samu charged towards him, Alex sidestepped, extending his left leg under Samu, and placing his left hand on Samu's back, he tripped Samu and knocked him off-balance, sending him careening into the wall behind him. Samu recovered quickly however, but Alex knew this battle would be a marathon, not a sprint. While Samu could lift an Atlas stone, he could hardly do thirty situps in a row, and this would prove his downfall.
Throughout the battle, Alex stayed on the move, his feet barely touching the floor, his footwork was so swift that his feet hydroplaned on thin sheets of air. He would use Samu's punches as openings to get in close. Samu would throw a right hook, and Alex would dodge, moving along the inside of Samu's arm, striking him in the throat with an extended hand, then pulling away before Samu could retaliate. Little by little, Samu's strength was sapped, and he realized he would be defeated. He reached into his boot and pulled out a small pistol, pointing it at Alex.
"Enough games, I'm going to end this right here."
"What ever happened to playing fair?" Said Alex
"A warrior has many weapons in his arsenal. Deception is one that you are very familiar with. It is hypocritical of you to beg me for fair play, when you yourself used acts of deceit to slaughter my soldiers. We judge ourselves by our intentions and others by their actions, you may see yourself as a hero, but others--"
Just then, Samu burst into flames. During the fight, Art Girl had been using her newfound bartending skills to whip up a delicious Molotov Cocktail. She couldn't get a good enough opening to throw it, until Samu kept his distance from Alex and started monologuing. Amidst Samu's screams, Art Girl and Alex ran to each other:
"Oh Alex, I knew you would come to save me!" Art Girl said
Samu continued writhing on the floor in flaming agony "AGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!"
Alex looked down at Samu, rolling around on fire and said:
"You're fired"
Alex looked down at Samu, rolling around on fire and said:
"You're fired"
Alex and Art Girl escaped the compound as Samu's mansion burned down. They returned to Oklahoma and lived happily ever after.
Author's Note: This is the final installment of the Art Girl Rescue saga. This story series is based loosely off the Ramayana. I wanted to have some detailed fight scenes in this story, since fight scenes are a large part of the last portion of the Ramayana. I thought I would add a little bit of cosmic philosophy to the story through Samu's dialogue, so the reader could think "wow, maybe Alex wasn't the good guy after all..." but then Samu gets caught on fire immediately afterwards, also he was wrong, Alex was the real hero.
R. K. Narayan: The Ramayana
http://dt.pepperdine.edu/courses/greatbooks_v/gbv-15/66697602-The-Ramayana-R-K-Narayan.pdf
Hi Nitrodubbz,
ReplyDeleteI have a few comments that may help you improve your writing. First, you mention the protagonist by name quite a bit, like to the point it's a bit distracting. Using pronouns is fine, especially before you really introduce new characters. Also, I wouldn't abbreviate machine gun as MG. It's not a common enough acronym that most people would understand immediately. I had to stop and think and use context clues to figure it out myself. It is just unnecessarily cumbersome for the reader. I'm also curious about your choice to name the character Art Girl. Is that her name? If so, how did such a unique name come about? What did you want to convey to the reader with that name?
You gotta read part 1 and 2 my guy it's an epic saga
DeleteHowdy Nitrodubbz,
ReplyDeleteThis installment of your series was a good read. I really enjoyed the amount of action you have included into the story. It kept me interested and entertained throughout the entire reading. I have to agree with the comment before this, that abbreviating machine gun is a bit confusing to me as a reader. Other than that one hiccup, I think your story was pretty good.
Nitrodubbz, I must say that you reposted in the wrong neighborhood. 0/10 not enough gore, let me just say that when describing a man on fire, it is quite noticeable how their bodily fluids overheat and the skin ruptures as puss and blood erupt out of their bodies. From the Tibetan monks that I have observed self immolating. It is also very common for their eyes to rupture, seeing as eyes are mostly made of water. As such, I find that your description of Samu's death was very disappointing and unrealistic compared to the fiery deaths that I have seen in real life.
ReplyDeleteAhh I see. Thank you for the input Eric. I appreciate your attention to detail, I will take your criticisms into consideration.
Delete