Introduction for NitroDubbz
image source Hello everyone. I am Nitrodubbz, the computer engineering student. You may know me from my other blog posts, such as: "my favorite place". The coolest thing about my major is how it makes companies want to hire me. Ideally if one of these companies wanted to pay me in exchange for my brainpower and hours of my life, I would just invest almost all of my income into real-estate and collect rent to supplement my income. Hopefully I move somewhere where housing is cheap, and the Federal Reserve's interest rates stay low. I guess I'll talk about books now. I recently re-read Catch-22 by Joseph Heller. It is a pretty good book. The book is absurdist, filled with contradictions now known as Catch-22's, a term coined by the novel. These contradictions exist within the well-defined rules and command structure of the USAAF, the predecessor to the Air Force of today. The point being to highlight the weaknesses of a rigid military system, and to contr
Hey Nitro! Great story! I was laughing from start to finish. I can tell you write at such a high level. Your story had a great use of similes, metaphors, and even allusions. I would rate this story a 10/10. I would give you some advice on how to change it, but I really couldn't find anything wrong with it. There was a plethora of detail as long as a lot of good jokes. All I could ask is maybe add a female character. You only had male characters which isn't very inclusive. Maybe have an artist help Karl make the flyer before his shift. My favorite piece you had was how you tricked Karl into give you the info. Oh! I did spot something you should work on and it's your authors notes. From what I can tell your authors notes isn't between 200-300 words! I can't believe you would go on canvas and answer true to having 200-300 words. That is a failure of academic integrity and you'll be lucky if I don't report you to the dean! You better fix that up or i'm getting you expelled!
ReplyDeleteYou think you can scare me with threats of expulsion? I'll have you know I wrote that story at only 1% of my power. If you're not careful, I might be forced to use a whole 2% on you, and I'm not talking about the milk.
DeleteHi Nitro,
ReplyDeleteI like both of your stories. I think that your writing style is great and I couldn't find much to comment on. A few places in Parashurama could benefit from some spell checking and grammar, but its just small things like "pne" instead of "one". With that being said, I loved the science in your story, it seemed well researched. It would be really helpful to have a link to your comment wall on your website, it would make it much easier to find and provide you with feedback. As Alex mentioned, I think that your Authors notes are a little short. I would like to know how you got from the Crane and the Crab to a story about a Taco shack! I think that would be an interesting process to follow, like your A/N from Parashurama. I look forward to reading more of your work!
ReplyDeleteHey Nitrodubbz! You did a fantastic job with “Taco Shack!” I loved the satire and cynical humor that you incorporated, which made the story very fun and entertaining to read. I was very taken with the image of the “the broken pencil corpse” being thrown “into a mountain of snapped pencil corpses,” which was at once morbid and hilarious. The series of calls from one chain of command to the next, each ending in a snapped writing utensil, reminded me of a funny skit you might see on SNL or another comedy show.
A few editing notes:
-Watch out for run-on sentences, as there are quite a few in this story
-I think you meant for the phrase ““Mexican" in parentheses” to read “Mexican” in quotations
-The word “Ayatollah” is not appropriate to characterize Brad, as this title refers to a very specific type of religious leader in Islam; it cannot be used as a general term for a person in a position of authority
Hey Nirtro!
ReplyDeleteI clicked on your story because on the slideshow it showed your welcome page and it had Japanese, which I was happy and confused about (since this is an Indian epics class) haha.
You have very good diction and are very descriptive which I like.
It was funny how he went from manger to having rule after him to being emperor! Adding on to that with “the great sewage backup of ‘14” haha. Maybe change one of the dates to like ’15 just to make it a bit more diverse? Nice use of all the phycology terms, it was well put together!
I also liked how you put yourself in the story and cleverly made yourself the most cunning character in the story. I was totally wondering where you got this story from but it makes sense now! It was super creative and well written and I just wanted to keep reading! Also, yes, Iron Man is one of the best Marvel (way better than Captain America).
Hi Nitrodubbz!
ReplyDeleteI have read both of your stories on separate accounts and I love both of them. Your imagery and the way you convey what you are trying to say, and successfully saying, is outstanding. I have found very little issue with both of your writings, so writing critique in this case is difficult. One thing I did notice, was when you talk about Parashurana on his ship you talk about the vacuum of space. Instead of mentioning it again in that little clip, I would just end it with "the Galaxy heard him." We already know that he is in the vacuum of space and considering "the Galaxy heard him," we can assume that so did those in the vacuum. All-in-all, both of your stories and your introduction were really good reads and I can't wait to see what else you put together. Your mix of humor and serious situations works really well because you know how to showcase it just right.
Hi Nitrodubbz,
ReplyDeleteLet me just start on your authors note for the Taco Shack. Honestly, Iron Man is one of if not my favorite Marvel Character in Marvels Universe. I like your creative take on the original story in regards to both readings. I think your personality really shines through in your writing. I also love the pictures you picked for both stories. It is quite captivating especially for the second story! What i enjoy about your stories is the amount of detail you put into it. It converts exactly what you want and paints a really vivid picture of what you are telling. Your great choice of diction really shined through! One comment I would add is to add a link to your comment wall in an obvious place. I don't know if I couldn't find it or it was somewhere hidden (if so I apologize for not find it) but I think this would make it easier for people to comment on. Over all great stories and I look forward to reading more of what you write.
Hi Nitrodubbz!
ReplyDeleteWOW I loved your Taco Shack story. I seriously hope you plan on running with this writing thing because I feel like you have a lot of serious potential. I think that the fast food restaurant idea was a great way to mirror the original story. You kept a lot of the original plot while still creating an entirely different setting and understanding of the original message. I also noticed very little grammatical errors so good job on that! I struggle with those but I can tell you have done a great job of proofreading your stories and editing them well. I hope that I get the chance to read more of your stories in the future. Keep up all of the great work!
Hi NitroDubbz,
ReplyDeleteI just went and checked out your website and browsed through it observing your style and design. I think where you are going with your website represents you and your style. Just like your name is interesting and different. I have a couple comments to make on its overlook. First off, in your first story, and it may just be my computer, but did you mean to have the black boxes covering letters and words? I can kind of tell what words are supposed to be there but don’t want to make assumptions on your use of vocab. And then really the last thing I noticed, on the different pages of each story the titles all have different backgrounds. Two have the same picture from the cover page and then the other two just white. For flow purposes I would make it all the same. I find that when main aspects like that are the same it is less distracting. Hope these couple comments can help!
Nitro....who ARE you??? Honestly, I absolutely loved your story "Taco Shack". I am doing week 10 Project feedback, and I don't think we are even commenting on stories this week but rather layout and design. Stuff like that. I only opened the story to see what your font was like so I could come up with some comment about it. What I found myself doing was reading your story. At first, I was only going to read a few lines. After that I knew I had to read the whole story. I smiled throughout most of it. I was BLOWN away when I read your Authors Note (Ok, so I didn't read the author's note in it's entirety), and realized that you wrote your story from the Indian Epics from one of the first weeks of class (stay with me here, I know my description is going all over the place). I remember that I used almost ALL the same details from the story I chose. I only changed ...well it was not a lot. You, quite brilliantly, produced a story all your own. You nailed it! I loved it! Oh ya...nice font also?
ReplyDeleteWWW COMMENT:
ReplyDeleteHey,
First of all, I love the names you had for each of your pages in your storybook. It was very interesting and innovative. Also, it made me really curious to read what the story was about. For your story, “the Beverly hills of Buddha,” I love the modern twist that you added by using real celebrities in your story. Also, I like the amount of dialogue you added in your story. This is definitely something that I have been trying to improve on in my own stories and you did a great job in incorporating dialogue in your story. I can see this theme across all your stories, which is really impressive. If I had to critique your storybook, I would say maybe change the formats of some of your stories. There are a lot of spaces between paragraphs, so maybe take out some spaces in between. Overall, I really enjoyed your storybook.
Hey NitroDubbz, I wanted to start off by saying that I love Thomas Cole’s work and all of the work done by the Hudson River School, and that my most important advice is that you should make the banner image on the home page larger because it is such a fantastic painting. I am impressed that you have four stories up already (a lot of other sites only have 1 or 2). I like Parashurama 40k very much. I thought is was a very inspired story that had a great crossover going. I also like 1244K. I think that report style of storytelling is very interesting because it feels almost clandestine when done correctly. It even reminds me of some found-footage style movies. I think the coolest part about your portfolio is how clever all the stories are. Overall I think you did a great job and good luck for the rest of the semester.
ReplyDeleteHi Nitro, I enjoyed reading your short story, 1244k. The approach you took towards writing this story is by far unique. I think the most unique and fun part about your story is how you blacked out some of the texts to make it look like it was an actual declassified transcript. I need to find some more creativity for my stories haha. For this weeks comments we are supposed to discuss what we think about the pictures of the story. Since your story is so unique already, I believe you should be more unique with your pictures as well. I think you could add maybe three or four more pictures of various weapons in Vishnu's arsenal! Even more you could possibly add blueprints of the main weapon you are writing about in your story. Again, your story is already so unique that if you add a few more personalized pictures that I believe it could really tie your whole story together! Again loved reading your story, 1244K. Excited to see what is next.
ReplyDeleteNitro, I thought your stories were really good. They all flowed very good and my favorite was your story over The Buddha of Beverly Hills. It was super hilarious and I think that it was amazing. Making the Buddha seem like a goofy guy and putting him in the middle of Beverly Hills is a funny sight to imagine. I kept on laughing from the many funny bits that are in it. I enjoyed your rendition of it and I thought it flowed very well and your character progression was very good. I also really liked the set up of your website. The headers on each page are good and reflect the theme of each story and the characters that are in it. Overall, I thought your stories were well written out and they all flowed very well. Your writing ability is very good and I enjoyed reading each story. Good luck to you in your future stories and I can't wait to read them sometime!
ReplyDeleteNitro, your style of writing is one of the most unique styles I've read. It has a lot of personality, and I can kind of(?) tell what kind of person you are in real life from it! Maybe. I had to look up who Brendan Fraser, the guy you chose to be the Buddha of Beverly Hills, and I have to say: he does look like he would be a good buddha. I like the little quip you threw in there about Jim Carrey and vaccinations. "Very sane." Haha. It's interesting that you set the story in Hollywood, but I like the explanation - all these things people are pursuing in Hollywood are their "gods," and the Buddha, an embodiment of not pursuing worldly things, stands in contrast, both physically and spiritually. Deep.
ReplyDelete